Urgent News RE: Toilet Paper

There has been a tragedy at Seminary 3.  Barbara Jean just discovered that we only have 4 rolls of toilet paper.  This would not be tragedy if Barbara Jean hadn't just bought some Charmin Big Roll four days ago.  We seem to have a toilet paper usage problem. We began the year with two Costco packages of tp....that lasted less than a month.  So what gives? Here are our theories:

- Someone has serious mud butt and has been manponing it up

- One of our residence has developed Pica (when you eat non-food items, ie:toilet paper)

- The noisy residents from upstairs have been climbing through our bathroom window and stealing it, roll by fluffy roll. 

- One of our male visitors has been courtesy wiping

That is all for now. We will keep you updated on any new developments regarding the TP issue. So we will leave you with this:

Five Tips for Toilet Paper Usage:

1) Think twice about buying luxury paper

2) Keep a box of baby wipes in the bathroom for those messy moments

3) Buy standard size rolls, they run out faster than standard rolls

4) Go with the store brand, there is little difference between name and store brand

5) Practice restraint, there is no need to attack the roll and pull masses of paper away with the force of Rambo starting a speed boat. Take only what you need.

XOXO,

B, BJ, B, G